Dec 19, 2019
In today's episode, we'll talk about coming to terms with our body... now
Coming to terms with my body now was one of the hardest emotional events of my short life.
I had to grieve my fantasy body... the body that was going to bring me everything I didn’t have now.
Moreover, I had to grieve the thin ideal that diet culture had pushed into my core beliefs and that I was dreaming about since the age of 12.
I had to learn to be in my body now... not the one I thought I should have but that one I have now.
We are indoctrinated very young to the thin ideal. I can remember, as young as 6 years, me playing with barbies and thinking about how I would look like her when I would be older. How I would dress my thin waist and be the admiration of everyone.
As we grew in my teens, I became obsessed with chasing this thin body. You see at 12 years old, I dieted for the first time. People told me to lose weight if I wanted to be beautiful.
As has my brain developed even more, I acquired in my core beliefs this notion that if I’m not thin I’m not worthy. That’s how I lived my life for the next 25 years truly believing that unless I was thin, I was not going to live the life I wanted.
And then after 25 years of working really really hard at chasing the thin ideal so I could have the life of my dreams... I had to give up.
It didn’t work and would never work.
That experience of coming to terms with my body was hard. I got stuck a few times and I cried a lot. Grieving our thinner bodies is like grieving the loss of someone close to us.
That’s what we will discuss in this episode of the podcast. How we have to experience the full grief cycle to be able to accept our body now. How to best navigate this phase of our healing and what does it look like.